| | Mandi's back! Well, not quite... Life throws its curveballs every now and then, but you just have to dodge (or get slammed) and move on. Makes me wonder who throws these curveballs exactly. Do I set traps for myself along the road, only for them to backfire and take a swing at me? This is sounding really depressing and pessimistic, but I assure it's not. It's one of those internal conversations that have to be let out and contemplated. It's been a while since I have written anything. 2007 has been a trying year for a lot of people, but dare I say it - for me. Losing my grandmother was the biggest shock of all; a shock from which I fear I have not recovered. Having painfully extracted every last minute detail of my last day with her from my conscious mind has not helped. The sporadic bursts of sadness still overcome me; the tears have a life of their own pouring down my cheeks. Yes, it has been a difficult year for myself and my whole family. I can only imagine how my mother feels to have retired early in anticipation of caring for her elderly parents - only to lose one 2 weeks after. But no, this isn't what I've logged in to blog about. In fact, I'm not blogging about anything so much as letting off steam. Why do people you can connect to come into your life exactly when you can't offer them what you wish you could? Why do people feel that instant connection, that want to care for someone they barely know? And why do some people just pop into your mind just when someone else should be? More importantly for me...why is it always, always the SAME person who pops into your mind at the most inconvenient times? You have to make choices in life - and I've made mine despite all the choices I had, have and will have. I am happy I made it - but human nature will defy my loyalty to the end by tempting me with possibilities. I must be so much the stronger for it, even if I do flail or stray to the side of the path every now and then. I hope to God those mistakes can be mended and forgiven. P.S. I miss you, Stealer. You know who you are. |
| | Posted 11/26/2007 4:09 PM - 49 Views - 2 eProps - 0 comments
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